"You do fantasy hockey - that’s just make believe!"

"Ugh, all you do is talk to the fantasy hockey guys."

"I thought ‘fantasy’ sports were just for losers."

 

Evolution has shaped males into large strong competitors. We ‘win’ by being better than other males. Society has reinforced this throughout our childhood and into our adult life. As such men are not supposed to show weakness, not supposed to have strong loving bonds with other men (or others generally). We are supposed to be the strong silent type, never cry, never show emotion. The Marlboro Man was our icon. Yet all the evidence shows the destructive nature of such behaviour for male health. That men form healthier relationships with their partners, their kids, the colleagues. They do better at work and are more mentally stable and healthy if they have formed strong friendships with other men.

 

Enter fantasy hockey. In this realm men can compete strongly against each other, can win and beat others. Yet also form societal allowable bonds. Society says it’s ok to call your buddy to talk about hockey, but not so much to talk about the trouble you’re having at work. Society says it’s ok to call to rag on your friends for beating them last week in fantasy, but not so much for calling because you’re feeling overwhelmed with your kids.

 

Fantasy hockey isn’t a silly game, played by men who can’t play the real thing. It isn’t a silly fantasy world where men can live out their unfulfilled dreams of playing pro sports. It is a way that men can connect to each other, can show emotion, can compete, can form bonds of friendship, can cry, laugh, complain, - it’s a world where men can feel safe and to hide from what society wants to force on them.

 

So - no I’m not ‘playing fantasy hockey’, I’m not talking once again to the hockey guys, I’m not just going to hang out with the hockey guys, no it’s not always about the NHFL. I’m forming friendships that better myself, my mental health, my ability to be a dad, a husband, a coworker and colleague. I’m not ‘playing fantasy hockey’ I’m bettering myself as a man.